“He was going to make me his apprentice. I would have been a magister.”

“You sold out your own brother to become a magister?!”

can we talk about the fear in his eyes or 

it’s like—Fenris is very prideful by nature. to the point where he deceives himself into believing that he is strong enough to go to Minrathous and kill Danarius himself if the fucker never comes after him personally. but he doesn’t. why? because he’s terrified of him. he deludes himself into thinking he’s an equal (his Fade demon shows that deep down he’s less than confident), he pretends that to Danarius it’s all about the markings (but he knows it isn’t), he gives himself up entirely if Hawke and co. aren’t there to defend him 

he was not expecting Danarius to actually show up 

how dare you

The thing is, Fenris is so hungry for love and family even while consumed by fear of being recaptured, and his story is that of a broken man who does not know how to trust but wants to so badly that he chooses the possibility of love over every instinct he has to run. He wanted to connect with his sister so badly, he risks everything for that chance. Her betrayal tears out his heart, and you watch him break.

And let’s not forget that if you are a monster and actually decide to give him back to Danarius, he crumples into boneless horror and resignation and follows his master without a goddamn word back into slavery away from the people he trusted to keep him safe. If Hawke – his lover, in my case – betrays him just like his sister, you actually watch his belief in the possibility of any life outside abuse and slavery and complete regression into the slave-mindset he so hates crumble in a matter of seconds. He realizes that every dream of freedom he fought and bled for was a fool’s hope. And later, you get this chilling letter from Danarius thanking you for the return of his property, with a mention that Fenris is much more pliable now that his memory has been erased once more and everything has been taken from him again. 


(I know y’all are Team Anders, and that’s totally cool, but I’m going to be over here in my corner, weeping over that anguished smile of love and hurt that he gives Hawke if he assures him that they are still together after this is all over. I’m here for fics of Hawke teaching Fenris to read, first haltingly and filled with shame, then slow progress into understanding and even joy in what he’s able to regain through life as a free man. I’m here for Hawke comforting him late at night when he has horrific flashbacks, assuring him that Danarius is dead, and that he will never be alone that way ever again. I’m here for the tentative gestures of trust and the setbacks, and agonizingly slow healing after decades of believing himself to be nothing but an unthinking weapon.) 


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